CF committee retreat 2006

Time flies!
I remember being in charge of my first cf retreat, exactly 1 year ago. Where David, Jon and Siew Lian cooked for us...
Now, I am the outgoing committee instead, and poor juniors have to eat my cooking...haha.

This is my fourth retreat, and although there has been exhausting moments serving in CF, it is worth it! For better or for worst, haha, I feel as if some of me have rubbed of the CF committee, especially the *ahem* 'scandalous' part. Now, we have a ritual of Saturday nite 'scandalous' sessions. Cindy and I had fun cooking for the committee, but surface to say, what went on in the kitchen stays in the kitchen..rite Cindy?
Considering how we or rather I almost burned the whole kitchen and flooded it, hahahaha, at least no one had to be admitted into the ICU after bravely eating the food. ;)

From the bits and pieces I ears-dropped on as the new committee discussed their new plans for the semester, I dare say this would be an exciting semester. Kudos to Christine that everything went on smoothly. And I know God will move and bless the plans & lives of those who choose to serve Him.

Well CF ppl, you can't get rid of me so fast...unfortunately, haha, I'd still be around IMU for 2-3 months.

How am I feeling now that the semester has ended? Or rather IMU life has ended?
Change of seasons I guess. Kind of melancholic right now, but I guess, God is good & remains permanent :)

Discussion time!

Signing the CF committee contract....Ee Leen the YODA and her yellow colour!

hehehe..no one died from eating okay??? Notice the "scandalous" bread? And the pot????

Thomas Chew's tradition.......

Pass!

Passed Sem 5!!! Results were better than even imagined. Haha :) Of course it's 100% God, cuz if you happened to read the previous posts, you would have known how desperate I was.

my international students gang: my lecture mates ( in IMU we often sit in groups that don't really move up or down, but stay put for 2.5 years.)

I have just moved out of my room. As I was taking down all the memory verses pasted on the wall, I can't help but marvel at how God has been faithful to me. Though the ups and downs, though the fun moments and through the dark nights. Through the "scandalous" times, to the "sighing" times...God has been ever good, ever kind to me. Kind even when I am perplexed, faithful even when I doubt. Merciful even when I complain. Patient when I grumble. But most of all, gentle even as He heals.

All my longings lie open before you, O Lord; my sighing is not hidden from You

Cease striving and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10

He died for all that those who live should live no longer for themselves, but for Him who died for them and rose again. 2 Corinthians 5:15

Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. 2 Corinthians 12:9

I really don't know what the next phase would hold. Looking back, a lot of things I had expected in IMU turned out to be different, in a better way I guess. Who I was, and who I am now; how God has changed me (although there's still much much much more to improve rite? haha).

What I thought I would do in life, how my dreams have evolved, been refined. I chuckle to think that I was so confident that I'd actually end up going to UK that my aunt actually gave me pounds and bought me winter jackets in Sydney. The 2 jackets now has travelled all the way from Sydney to KL and will be brought back to Sydney again!! Ah, how God can just do a 180 degree change.

Yea, although not every part of my life has had a happy ending, yet, I know God's in charge. And I will try to be obedient as God leads. Haha, cuz I can be a little (cough) stubborn sometimes.

Truly I testify that God has been just so gracious to me; someone who least deserves it.
In a way, I am sad to leave IMU, not the building or cafeteria or EOS madness persay, but, the friends, the people, the CF!, the CGs, the experiences, the KKB trips, the camps, the makan outings, the countless times God has comforted me....
The amazing opportunity to just go to Petaling street..and He has kept me safe every single time! The chance to explore different cultures, places. The privilage to meet certain people ;) haha. Even the times where I didn't get what I want, for He when He doesn't give the good, it's cuz He wants to give the best...at least I think so...haha...

Lord, indeed I really don't know what the future holds,
yet I know who holds my future.

thank you.

CF retreat and Cambodia next!!!!!

Wow

On the boat.....cool huh??? ;)

It's really really been a nice mission trip to Tasik Temenggor ministering to the Jehai people.
God has been so good to give this amazing privilage to be there. Truly all of us on the trip had loads of fun and joy! Mission trips are truly rewarding because we are not only doing the work of God, but at the same time we get to enjoy the pleasures of God's creation too! I particularly love the boat rides where the breeze caresses the face as you look at the rays of sun reflected on the water. It's like a holiday cum mission work. You'd get to enjoy yourself and please God at the same time! 2 in 1...great rite?

The Jehai children are very shy; but they have really beautiful eyes and amazingly long eyelashes
it's so beautiful!

Hahaha..I would love to say more but time is soooo short! So it's to be continued...soon...cuz there's so much to write and to remember!

Arrived back at KL at 10+ at night, and had to move room immediately! Still feel as if I'm rocking on the boat right now.
Plus, going to Selesa again tomorrow for 2 nights...so must cuci baju... ;)
Busy really busy but in a wonderful, blessed way! Thanks God!!

For those who prayed, thanks so much. As cliche as it may sound, your prayers really helped. Looking forward for the next team of CF ppl who'd go.

Results out tomorrow! I need to pass! :)

Bz! In a NICE way :)

So, it's the night before the Viva results are released.
But I guess everyone is enjoying themselves too much to really worry over the list.

I still look quite quite bad because I haven't really repaid the sleep debt.
After OSCE on Thursday, there was a meeting to go to immediately...
Friday was also packed with meetings and CG at nite. But I guess CG was really great (maybe cuz my stress level has dropped or Philip's sharing is really good? haha)

Saturday was a mad dash to pack some of my things, followed by our last m1/04 CG session. Wow, I'll really miss the people like insightful Tim, the poser Ben, always coming soon Cindy, Eugene, Matt and the rest. I mean, we have seen each other at our worst...with the exam craziness and KKB madness.

Ignore Ben's posing picture ;)

We had a sharing time where everyone got to share their
1) Happiest moment in IMU
2) Saddest moment in IMU
3) Funniest moment in IMU
4) Regrets in IMU
5) How have you grown in God in IMU......

I only got to hear only the first parts cuz had to rush down to KL, but it was great to recount the moments in IMU. From guys accidentally walking into girls' toilets, to Friday nite, to KKB trips and EOS madness. For myself, I guess my happiest moment was getting my matching results, my "saddest" is my really stupid (pardon my language but it's really stupid) chronic problem, but.....if I was just to sum up my experience in IMU, it would be "I walked in without God yet I walked out with Him. :)

Then it was time with my father in Westin KL. Hahahahahahaha
U MUST read this and laugh at me. ;)

Room service! Oven baked crispy pizza. Really good with generous amounts of squid, mussels and prawns.


Harp player at dinner. The amount of money the drug companies spend on these dinners are astronomical! One room for a doctor costs RM400, the airtickets RM800+..and they invited 100+ doctors. Yepp, they fly you all the way to listen to a 2 hour talk and 8 course dinner.

I was at a dinner with my father. He happened to be talking to a doctor next to him. The doctor so happened to be from Brunei and my father was telling him that his sister in law is from Brunei too.
"Do you know R. Y? She's my sister in law. The husband is working in Baiduri Bank..." father
"Oh, that's your sister in law?" doctor
"Yes." father
"Oh I know them. We are their panel."
Doctor turns to me and said, "So, do you visit your sister often?"
Father and I were like "huh?"

--silence--

Father, "She (as in pointing to me) is my daughter."
"Sorry sorry, I thought she was your wife," doctor.

WAH!!!!!!!!! Do I look so OLD ar??? Wife???!!???
hahahahahahaha.

View from room at nite.

breakfast at Westin

Sunday was also with father (thankfully no weird comments again!), Cambodia meeting in the afternoon and Peter's BBQ where we ate hotel class food!!!

Peanut butter grilled chicken wings, sunquick and honey grilled chicken (yea have you ever ate sunquick with chicken?), beer+sprite+sunquick+don't know what, squid stuffed with Philip's "special" receipe... Mr Saw has already booked the Ong brothers for his upcoming wedding feast (5 years advance booking).
got some pictures but......so lazy and tired now.........

Hopefully won't be in viva list and would get to go to the Orang Asli mission trip on Tues. Till then! :)

~update~ NO VIVA!! God, thanks for one hurdle passed. Now for the real results on Friday

Exams are over.....for now

Hey. :)
For the 1st time in 1 week I don't have palpitations and a knot in my stomach...a relief!
And I don't look as if I've been crying due to my BIG eye bags anymore (I hope!! haha)

This is the first time that I lost my appetite because of an exam. Couldn't really eat lunch or dinner. Heart really pounding. Trying to calculate how many marks I lost. Trying to estimate if I can reach the elusive 65% to pass.

The anxiety just before sleeping...when suddenly you sit upright on the bed...because a thought flashes through your head "What if they ask for examination of shoulder...." followed by a rush to flip through the books...

I can only say this..if it's not because of God, I would have panic and totally loss my mind especially during the OSPEs and OSCEs where the buzzer makes you jump every 5 minutes..
Buzz! heart jumps and almost pops out next to the pelvic model on the table.
Buzz! heart jumps and treatens to burst and splatter the brain picture displayed.

Haha, I don't know if I was "lucky" or not, but I got both of the most "feared" lecturers for OSCE, the wizard of Grey's anatomy Dr H.A. and the pharmaco expert Dr F.A.
It's really nerve wrecking when you see them entering the rooms of your stream, just before the exam starts and your batchmates start to draw a line to their throats...but all I can say is that thankfully there were no major "scoldings" this time. In fact they were both pleasant to me (I hope the marks were pleasant too! haha).

I really don't know how I did. I felt I had loads and loads and loads of mistakes for SAQ plus our OSCE ECG was a killer...don't know how results would be..but, I thank God that the very fact that I can complete this exam without a nervous breakdown, is a miracle in itself. :) My prayer is, God, pass me without a resit or viva!!!! Let our batch pass 100%. No one should be put through the horror of EOS twice!

Will be busy now..cuz all the fun and excitement starts after the exams! :)
(hopefully with no resit and viva!!!)

Really HAPPY cuz my father is coming down on Saturday!

Thanks guys 4 praying and all the SMSes.
Sorry that I couldn't reply to all, cuz my 8210 Nokia dinasour can only store 10 msgs at one time so couldn't really save them to reply after my exams.

Loved the glucose & carbohydrate goodies and the prayers from the CF ppl on Sunday nite. Truly it made my night! ;)

Will post more pictures soon..haha..cuz I am sure EVERY single poor soul that has read all my rants and moanings about EOS are bored to death by my blog.

*plus, I can post more pictures of ~ahem~ myself now...especially since I don't look like a ghost anymore...hahaha!* (just kidding okay??)

The end

I know where I stand.
I know how much I don't know.
I know how BAD my memory is.
I know right now 100% I will fail...unless the Lord intervenes.


This is the 1st time I am really feeling this d.e.s.p.e.r.a.t.e



God...
only You can help me now...
somehow.



I surrender.



I trust that You can do a miracle
I trust that You are also still good, even if the undesirable happens.

FAITH is being sure of what is hoped for, certain of things that are not seen.

whatever the outcome is...THANK YOU in ADVANCE (just like how Ben Shyen likes to say it) that You will see us through!

Here we go!

Guess what I have been eating lately?

Raisins......

I don't remember who exactly told me this, but I remember someone saying that raisins can improve memory. So I got myself a pack...and nonchantely remarked to my father that I've been eating raisins recently to "improve" my memory. My father (the real doctor with the degree unlike the pseudo not even halfway through daughter trying to be smart) laughed and said..."Huh? Where got such thing! I don't think it'll help your memory but at least you won't have constipation."
Oookay...

desperate people try desperate things @_@
haha..

and guess what? Today I got an email.
From my friend in Scotland...saying that she dreamt of me and CSAW (correct initials this time!) that we had eyebags and looked tired from exams...
Wah, all the way across the globe...also can dream of us, looking ugly because of exams.
I am honoured. Haha :)

But anyhow...raisins or not, I claim God's promises that not by power, nor by might but by the spirit of the Lord. Cuz right now I don't have power (memory) or might (to look at the squiggles on the paper).

Pray for me yea? and all my batchmates esp the dundee bound ppl..
to pass clean shot (means no viva, no resit, pass well 1 time go! :) )


*Postscript: with the rumblings of war in Middle East, I guess this exam is nothing compared to the threats there. Lord, may peace reign in the midst of chaos.

Pardon me.......

Allow me to be a bit emotional
I feel so so so stupid now....

cannot even answer correctly 50% of the past year questions.....
if it's because I didn't read the notes beforehand it won't feel so bad....

BUT I have finished 1 round, some systems 2!
YET still cannot answer!!!!!

it's not that the work has not been done
but it means...SARAH you are stupid...
no matter how many times I read it, I can't remember...

Is it because my studying technique is wrong?
Or that I didn't concentrate enough?
Or this or that?

God...I really cannot do this already.
I just feel very stupid.
Everyone else like DAVID YU can pass sem5 with flying colours and I cannot even answer their paper to pass...

Why can't I remember?

God. Help.

Maybe I deserve this?
Maybe I haven't given my best?
But I am doing all I can...even though it seems very insignificant and totally inadequate.

How?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

ok...it's 15min later now
and I guess the emotions have cooled.

Yes, I maybe stupid but I have a good God who will take care of people who need Him.
Even if I fail, He will be there.
If I pass, it's also because of Him.

God, have your way.

sigh.

but yea :)

Hahahaha :)

Although this is on the CF blog it's too "good" not to put up on my own blog.

EXCAVATE 2006--IMU CF camp.

Recognize some ppl??
Like CHIAM SU CHUEN dancing? (twice some more) CHRISTINE CHOW acting? TIMOTHY CHEW kung-fu'ing' and sucking his thumb, CINDY's voice on narration while JEREMY LEE acts to seduce ERNEST? What about JOANNE's voice on camera? JONAN's laugh? IVY ANG's song coaching? FABIAN's umm...axillary hair? JEREMY LEE again with the guitar? EUGENE and his chairs?

PS some voices are a little soft, u might want to turn on the volume a bit to hear the funny comments/cheers



Btw if you are wondering, I myself can't remember why I called Wilfred Mr Incredible...brain atrophy...

credits: TOM CHEW (producer+editor), JOANNE (camerawoman+comentator)

Early onset dementia

SMS at 12.10
"Happy birthday Sarah...etc..etc..etc"
from CSAU (name shall not be revealed to protect identity of victim. I am a considerate, respectful citizen of Malaysia)

At first I thought it was a msg to the wrong Sarah; maybe another Sarah
Then I looked at the date, 10/7
Read the msg again...
It's to me, especially with all the info in the SMS
Emmm...I maybe a bit crazy right now but I really don't think my birthday falls on the 10th of July.

SMS at 12.15
"Sorry I forgot that this month is July. I thought that this month is August. I really really thought this month is August!"

!!!!!!!
I wish this month IS August, cuz it would mean that I can fast forward without sitting for Exams.

It's official folks. The hardworking students of M1/04 have officially burned their neurons.
Just last week I paid for my newspaper and walked away....forgetting to take the newspaper!

A message to the general public:
Remember, you have been warned about the quality of future doctors from IMU. Haha :)

I need a new brain

....because I cannot remember anything I have read!

Maybe if you talked to me now, I'd probably forget your name too.

and if you can't recognize me when you see me, don't worry, it's not a problem with your brain or eyesight. I'm probably too fat from all the comfort eating/excessive sleeping/constantly sitting lifestyle.

sits and looks at notes
reads 4 lines....wah! so strenuous to read...maybe I should eat something. Gets up and eat.

Reads another 4 lines (1 slide), oh no, so tiring, maybe you need another snack...eats.

"You're working so hard, maybe you need an ice cream to reward yourself!"

Reads another 4 lines, starts thinking of maggi mee, "no must resist!" tries to read but can only hear maggi mee calling....."ok ok brain, I will eat so that I can concentrate better."

Too much blood now channeled to the mesentric arteries diverting blood from brain so, "emm..lets just sleep for 5 minutes"
A couple of jabs on the snooze button and 1 hour later...

reads another 4 lines, thinks "how about some dimsum from the shop downstairs? And oh, while you are at it, some burger too??"
Patters downstairs to buy food, eat...
Reads another 4 lines, "maybe a glass of milk to wash everything down?"

"Lets add some coco crunch with the milk yea?"

Since an average note contains 24 lecture slides, and someone estimated that we have to go through some 200+notes, (24X200), I just hope airasia doesn't have a weight limit for its passengers or else I would have to ship myself home or buy 2 airline tickets. And oh, could you donate me some new clothes cuz I can't seem to fit into mine.

Anyway all the talking about food has made me hungry, I guess I shall whip up a meal again later. Back to the amnesia problem, everything sounds familiar, but like the Specificity and Sensitivity test, I can rule out (sensitivity of my brain) what I have not read, but I can't rule in what I have read (specificity). Makes no sense? Yea, that's my incoherent brain talking.

And I cannot fail, because I've conveniently arranged a trip on the day of viva, and another trip on the date of the resit. Tickets and all. Fuuyooh, super confident..haha~!

But anyway, there's always a silver lining to each dark cloud...
Although this eating spree is not good plus exams are no fun, I thank God He is bigger than an exam, and I just need to do all I can do, and leave the rest up to Him. No amount of worrying will increase my grades anyway so, what do I have to lose in trusting God? ;)

PS if you want to donate to the feed sarah fund, you're welcome as well.
or you could donate to the "she needs to buy 2 airtickets, help her!" fund too.

Yes I don't know but

....I will choose not to rant. who's going to hear me anyway? who?

Not because I know it all, nor because I am immune to the stress;
but simply that God is taking care of me. Somehow, somehow. Somehow, despite the echoes of ache

Who am I,
Tell me why,
I am here for,
'Cause sometimes I'm lost

Who will give,
Me a lift,
When I'm feeling weak,
It's your strength I need

Before the world began you were on His mind,
To love Him and be loved by Him,
Oh what a sweet relief

Why am I--still worried today?
Why should I --let sorrow stay
Come lets be strong and courageous
Because....
He's given Joy Peace Love and Strength to last for the day
His mercies--new everyday
Sufficient Your grace is A--mazing
Oh thank You Father
For the mighty cross

So that I am Yours

Mighty child of God

by Ivy Ang :)


"In this crazy world, there's an enormous distinction between good times and bad, between sorrow and joy. But in the eyes of God, they're never separated. Where there is pain, there is healing. Where there is mourning, there is dancing. Where there is poverty, there is the kingdom." Henri Nouwen

and where there is hate, there will be love. In You.