I've never been a super medical student, just a normal average one.
And studying medicine can be frustrating at times; so much knowledge to digest.
Someone once described medical school as trying to drink from a hydrant; so much water pouring out that it drowns you.
What I realized recently though is that I am an unsmart nerd.
I have the lifestyle of a nerd; no parties or super happening social life.
Yet I am not smart like a nerd!
So neither am I nerdy and smart=at least I am smart
nor am I average but socially busy=at least there's a social life
unsmart nerd! haha
Anyway it's just a rant because I feel quite inadequate with exams coming up. Not to mention frustrated by the portfolio examination (a written essay with a interview viva on how I've matured as medical student..which sounds fine, but yet they want "proof of evidence" in the form of various extra assignments on ethics, reflective practicioner etc etc etc etc....)
Friday, July 03, 2009
Friday, June 12, 2009
Cravings
Since I enjoy reading blogs that talk about daily life, food etc etc...thought I might write this.
I almost never eat fast food but suddenly craved chips today.
I was already home, lazy to go out in the dark and cold but just wanted some hot chips while watching my new regular TV program MasterChef (haha).
I did not have any potatoes on hand otherwise I might have been desperate enough to cut them up and fry them myself.
After ummhing and ahhing I saw some pumpkin and decided to have sort of pumpkin baked in the oven.
It did help the cravings and at least it was healthy.
Forgive the pictures, it was from the camera phone. (My camera was stolen last year in Malaysia and thank goodness I did not buy a new one otherwise it would have been stolen too!)
Before going into the oven: A splash of oil, some dried herbs, sprinkling of salt.
Again, another ugly picture but oh well
After: With Salmon, Portuguese sauce and roasted pumpkin...
I had spaghetti pan fried with smoked mussels too...guess my weight loss might be temporal haha!
I almost never eat fast food but suddenly craved chips today.
I was already home, lazy to go out in the dark and cold but just wanted some hot chips while watching my new regular TV program MasterChef (haha).
I did not have any potatoes on hand otherwise I might have been desperate enough to cut them up and fry them myself.
After ummhing and ahhing I saw some pumpkin and decided to have sort of pumpkin baked in the oven.
It did help the cravings and at least it was healthy.
Forgive the pictures, it was from the camera phone. (My camera was stolen last year in Malaysia and thank goodness I did not buy a new one otherwise it would have been stolen too!)
Before going into the oven: A splash of oil, some dried herbs, sprinkling of salt.
Again, another ugly picture but oh well
After: With Salmon, Portuguese sauce and roasted pumpkin...
I had spaghetti pan fried with smoked mussels too...guess my weight loss might be temporal haha!
Friday, June 05, 2009
All in a week
My house was broken into twice
once at 4am
once at 4pm
Scary scary
At least I am able to sleep with the light off last night
Job applications are still lagging because of my stolen laptop
Had a presentation but thankfully I emailed it to myself
Bad skin! haha.
Looking forward to doing nothing today
once at 4am
once at 4pm
Scary scary
At least I am able to sleep with the light off last night
Job applications are still lagging because of my stolen laptop
Had a presentation but thankfully I emailed it to myself
Bad skin! haha.
Looking forward to doing nothing today
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Love the irony
Do you get it? Look carefullyLove the irony but definitely won't want this as my wedding cake
Saturday, May 23, 2009
The "not in" thing..
In my blessed and comfortable Christian life, there are not many persecutions or issues regarding why I believe what I believe. But increasingly as I age (getting old) is the tension of bgr.
This often happens when people suggest other people or when other things come up. Often I cop out and just keep quiet because I don't want to break the camaraderie by saying "I will not date a person who is not a Christian." Or just avoid the awkwardness of saying that by playing safe and doge invitations etc. And the list then goes on to why Christians don't move in together and have the big 3 letter word starting with S before marraige or that dating is courtship and so forth.
It is an issue many people find hard to phantom in this age of free belief and choices. From my own experiences, most people are stunned and even feel "discriminated" against. One friend said that all beliefs are the same and cannot not understand the different value systems Christians have. (It could be in part of my own failure to live like Christ and show the difference He has made in my life).
And the seriousness that we take dating....people often go "but how would you know you want to marry this person unless you've gone out with him/her etc etc etc." Of course we do not always know and yes, sometimes not all Christian relationships end up in marraige but the intention is to avoid the "try before you buy" mindset and honor the other person.
Complicating things futher, other Christians date non Christians and makes all the explaining even more difficult.
Maybe this is one of the prices to pay in following Christ in the context of this generation.
I just hope to do it better rather than dodge under the blanket of silence.
This often happens when people suggest other people or when other things come up. Often I cop out and just keep quiet because I don't want to break the camaraderie by saying "I will not date a person who is not a Christian." Or just avoid the awkwardness of saying that by playing safe and doge invitations etc. And the list then goes on to why Christians don't move in together and have the big 3 letter word starting with S before marraige or that dating is courtship and so forth.
It is an issue many people find hard to phantom in this age of free belief and choices. From my own experiences, most people are stunned and even feel "discriminated" against. One friend said that all beliefs are the same and cannot not understand the different value systems Christians have. (It could be in part of my own failure to live like Christ and show the difference He has made in my life).
And the seriousness that we take dating....people often go "but how would you know you want to marry this person unless you've gone out with him/her etc etc etc." Of course we do not always know and yes, sometimes not all Christian relationships end up in marraige but the intention is to avoid the "try before you buy" mindset and honor the other person.
Complicating things futher, other Christians date non Christians and makes all the explaining even more difficult.
Maybe this is one of the prices to pay in following Christ in the context of this generation.
I just hope to do it better rather than dodge under the blanket of silence.
Friday, May 15, 2009
If only...
Those who have been on call know how much we long for the clock to point to 7 am after a long 12 hour night shift. The anticipation of a shower, meal and bed. Sometimes even feeling smug that I'm done for the day even as the rest of the world wakes up..(haha)
Which is why the verse in Psalm 130 stands out;
My soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.
Interesting how the phrase the watchmen is repeated twice, as an added emphasis. Can just imagine the anticipation of the watchmen in changing guard plus the relief that the night has passed without any attacks etc.
I know I don't wait with such an anticipation. I hope to have such a hunger; not merely out of need when problems arise but to learn to delight in the Lord.
Which is why the verse in Psalm 130 stands out;
My soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.
Interesting how the phrase the watchmen is repeated twice, as an added emphasis. Can just imagine the anticipation of the watchmen in changing guard plus the relief that the night has passed without any attacks etc.
I know I don't wait with such an anticipation. I hope to have such a hunger; not merely out of need when problems arise but to learn to delight in the Lord.
Thursday, May 07, 2009
Vanity!
I am always humbled down when I myself get a cosmetic crisis. As medical practitioners it's so easy to dismiss patients' concerns about the cosmetic effects in the view of more life threatening issues BUT indeed appearances do matter!
A month plus ago I developed a keloid at the back of my ear lobe and freaked out after goggling the pictures online! Although it was not life threatening, in the literature it is not very curable and has a high relapse rate after any modality of treatment. It did cause some anxious moments and yes, it is still there at the moment, but I am thankful to God that it hasn't grown.
I am just so weary that another keloid will develop; this time on the face! I need to see my GP tomorrow! Indeed it is so humbling and makes me repent for judging people when they have body issues or cosmetic surgery etc etc. The holier than thou attitude about others until I myself am plagued with something that keeps me looking at the mirror whenever I get the chance and fretting if it's grown in size....it really keeps things in perspective that I am oh so human as well.
Do pray that no more keloids come up! :(
A month plus ago I developed a keloid at the back of my ear lobe and freaked out after goggling the pictures online! Although it was not life threatening, in the literature it is not very curable and has a high relapse rate after any modality of treatment. It did cause some anxious moments and yes, it is still there at the moment, but I am thankful to God that it hasn't grown.
I am just so weary that another keloid will develop; this time on the face! I need to see my GP tomorrow! Indeed it is so humbling and makes me repent for judging people when they have body issues or cosmetic surgery etc etc. The holier than thou attitude about others until I myself am plagued with something that keeps me looking at the mirror whenever I get the chance and fretting if it's grown in size....it really keeps things in perspective that I am oh so human as well.
Do pray that no more keloids come up! :(
Saturday, May 02, 2009
Can't help it
One of the biggest reasons I don't want to return to Malaysia for internship is my sheer lack of knowledge; especially in terms of practical skills. And O&G in particular requires experience, experience, experience
Over here, my scheduled clinics keep getting canceled because there are too many students both medical and allied health jostling for places-so bad that I can count the number of times I have palpated the abdomens. Turning up for things only to be turned away. I was at delivery suite today waiting but was told to go back home.
It is not such a big deal if I am going to work in Australia because O&G is an optional rotation. But I just do not want to be in the situation as an intern in Malaysia (since it is a compulsory rotation for year 1) at a district hospital getting complicated cases the midwives cannot handle and not knowing what to do. Plus the fact that we don't get taught to do anything at all here, not the suturing, nor the checking of dilatation and are lucky if we get to hold the baby.
I just hope I will be a safe doctor when I graduate at the rate I am going/learning now...
Over here, my scheduled clinics keep getting canceled because there are too many students both medical and allied health jostling for places-so bad that I can count the number of times I have palpated the abdomens. Turning up for things only to be turned away. I was at delivery suite today waiting but was told to go back home.
It is not such a big deal if I am going to work in Australia because O&G is an optional rotation. But I just do not want to be in the situation as an intern in Malaysia (since it is a compulsory rotation for year 1) at a district hospital getting complicated cases the midwives cannot handle and not knowing what to do. Plus the fact that we don't get taught to do anything at all here, not the suturing, nor the checking of dilatation and are lucky if we get to hold the baby.
I just hope I will be a safe doctor when I graduate at the rate I am going/learning now...
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
To the top end
It's a little complicated because I am a medical student but I am also an "employee" of St Vincent's since I work there part time as a RA but anyhow, because our abstract was accepted by the TSANZ, I had the gleeful privilege of being sponsored to go to Darwin for the conference.
(forgive my excitement since I am a poor medical student with not much other "happening" things going on in my life)
The abstract. Okay, not super earth shattering and thankfully my consultant was presenting but ya good excuse to go on a trip.
On tour around Darwin. Darwin is pretty far from Sydney, almost 4 hours by flight. Great for outdoors stuff and the highlight of the tour I took was the jumping crocodiles. The rest like buffolo watching, mangrove swamps etc are stuff I grew up seeing in Labuan (my small hometown) so it was not new.
there's a video where it jumps but I am too lazy to upload on youtube.
My hotel room in Holiday Inn...4 nights become a bit of a drag when you're alone but ya no complaints..
Overall, I would not have flown to Darwin if it wasn't sponsored so it was good to get to see what Darwin is like. Also going to this conference plus the part time job is a blessing from God because it is related to med and pays alright with not that long hours. It was a bit lonely just because there were few if no other medical students around, most were advance trainees and consultants but it's good exposure. It also made me a bit more confident about research work because initially I really thought that our abstract won't be accepted (since I have no experience on how such stuff works) but it actually got upgraded to an oral abstract.
(forgive my excitement since I am a poor medical student with not much other "happening" things going on in my life)
The abstract. Okay, not super earth shattering and thankfully my consultant was presenting but ya good excuse to go on a trip.
On tour around Darwin. Darwin is pretty far from Sydney, almost 4 hours by flight. Great for outdoors stuff and the highlight of the tour I took was the jumping crocodiles. The rest like buffolo watching, mangrove swamps etc are stuff I grew up seeing in Labuan (my small hometown) so it was not new.
there's a video where it jumps but I am too lazy to upload on youtube.
My hotel room in Holiday Inn...4 nights become a bit of a drag when you're alone but ya no complaints..
Overall, I would not have flown to Darwin if it wasn't sponsored so it was good to get to see what Darwin is like. Also going to this conference plus the part time job is a blessing from God because it is related to med and pays alright with not that long hours. It was a bit lonely just because there were few if no other medical students around, most were advance trainees and consultants but it's good exposure. It also made me a bit more confident about research work because initially I really thought that our abstract won't be accepted (since I have no experience on how such stuff works) but it actually got upgraded to an oral abstract.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
The week
started with 6-7 emails at 6am on Monday morning from my supervisor, all urgently needed to be answered as she was giving a talk at lunch time, followed by midwives clinic and a rush to get from clinic-bus-St Vincent's for the talk. The talk was followed by more work as there was still so much more refining to be done.
it progressed with 730 ward rounds and a non threatening but potentially disfiguring health problem that kept me awake, sad and anxious.
in a state of paranoia, another health issue cropped out. While more work needed to be done on top of normal med school stuff. Added to the mix was the potential "no jobs for international students" mantra during information night, along with the possibility that I might leave people I care about behind and the cuddly world of comfortable internship.
I was pretty emotional, tired and strung.
Yet, at the same time some things cleared up like the health issues.
And while it took me awhile to gain back my senses, I am amazed by the reminder that God is faithful in all seasons. That what is impossible with men is possible with God. That God sent me to UNSW in weird circumstances. That he provided a part time job that pays well, is great in the academic sense and a good supervisor. That He spared my life when I was in a terrible accident in KKB a few years ago when the car overturned. That He provided and continues to provide for my family. And many more.
Indeed.
it progressed with 730 ward rounds and a non threatening but potentially disfiguring health problem that kept me awake, sad and anxious.
in a state of paranoia, another health issue cropped out. While more work needed to be done on top of normal med school stuff. Added to the mix was the potential "no jobs for international students" mantra during information night, along with the possibility that I might leave people I care about behind and the cuddly world of comfortable internship.
I was pretty emotional, tired and strung.
Yet, at the same time some things cleared up like the health issues.
And while it took me awhile to gain back my senses, I am amazed by the reminder that God is faithful in all seasons. That what is impossible with men is possible with God. That God sent me to UNSW in weird circumstances. That he provided a part time job that pays well, is great in the academic sense and a good supervisor. That He spared my life when I was in a terrible accident in KKB a few years ago when the car overturned. That He provided and continues to provide for my family. And many more.
Indeed.
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