Unreal

My father cried in public today, and I've never ever seen him cry my whole life.

My sister vomitted because of the stress of everything and her upcoming SPM.

My 2nd sister missed called me twice from her tution today, and when I tried to call back, I couldn't get through..I was so panicky that she would do something stupid. Turns out she was just asking about something else.

I feel less emotional stress than when I was undergoing EOS5 and feel peace so much so that I worry that I'm a heartless, selfish person. But maybe God is just giving me extraordinary UNEXPLAINABLE peace. Because this is the worst thing that can ever happen to me. And if I was to breakdown, how? My father said that now I'm the strongest in the family. I pray PLEASE let this unexplainable peace last all the way because the journey will be long.

I can only eat 2 slices of apple, milk and cereal today because everything else makes me nauseous. Oh well, I'd be nice and slim? haha. sorry, I think having a disease is no reason to lose my hard earned sense of *cough* humour.

I'd be writing a lot of blog posts in the coming days. Because I must be in the same room with my sister or else she can't sleep. And even as I stroke her to sleep, I can't sleep when she sleeps. So when the house is quiet at night, you my imaginary audience would get a lot of verbal diarrhoea because I need to write a lot a lot of things so that I can cope.

And please write me long long emails or update your blogs frequently so that I have new things to read at 2 am in the morning. David Yu and Cindy, especially! I don't know how many times I open your blogs and find the same thing. Haha. JK. :) No pressure man.

And pray that I would not crash the car when I get up at 6.30 to send my sisters to school in the morning.

But in the midst of all this, I am extremely grateful.

So dear God, right now, I am thankful for the fact that
1) I don't have classes
2) I got 3 months off
3) The new doctor is helping in the clinic so my dad doesn't have to completely shut down his clinic or rush back to KL
4) I have great great friends. Thanks a lot guys.
5) THE GIFT of salvation! Oh, how much I appreciate it. How much the sting and fear of death is taken away because of Your death on the cross. How much HOPE there is because you came to die for me, for my mother, for us, that there's NO FEAR of eternity.
6) If of anything, God has blessed me with the most wonderful godly mum for my 21 years of life. And that we have such a close relationship. That I did talk to her everyday on the phone. That there's nothing I regret. Except not getting married fast enough or all the bgr talk things.haha.
7) That my mum is a Christian and believes in God!
8) God is a good God. Period.

If my grammar has gone haywire and my spelling is wrong, forgive me my imaginary audience.
I just need to write and write.

God. This is bad. But it could be worst. So I thank you for the bad. And look forward to the good.