All in a week

The week started on Sunday night; the LIME conference which by a fluke I manage to win a sponsorship from my clinical school to attend. Kind of intimidating to be among the medical deans of Aus/NZ along with aboriginal health professionals. And although there were a few medical students, they were high powered ones; representing Melb U AMSA or the National Rural Doctors Network etc! Really embarrassing because I don't know how med uni elections work or even how aboriginal health is taught in my uni, haha, being from IMU. Plus, boy they really know how to network! They talk to politicians about funding for their student groups and rock up to deans to discuss their med school curriculum.

But it was good to learn a little bit more about aboriginal health. We (from Malaysia) often think that Australia is utopia; yet the reality is that life is difficult for the aboriginals here. They have a health status similar to that of Bangladesh and a 17 year life expectancy gap compared to other Australians. And the people at LIME are really passionate about aboriginal health! Reminded me of the MSAP (Medical Students Aid Project) meeting I once attended where the students were so enthusiastic into going to 3rd world countries and were fund raising for medications etc. It was almost like a mission preparation meeting except that most people weren't Christian. Which got me thinking, shouldn't we as Christians be even more passionate about the underprivileged?

Haha, but the crunch came on Wednesday for me. I've not been back to St Vincent's or the King Cross area since holidays having been posted away for O&G and Paeds. Going back was a blast of cold shock for me.
So happened the patients I tracked down were unco-operative. Alcohol/drug addiction problems. Had a patient who wanted to "end it all" and ranted because he was withdrawn of his methadone and thought panadiane was lousy and *****
And being Asian, a girl and at the lowest rung of the hospital food chain, the rudeness was full on. Despite having a fair amount of exposure to the "darker" side of medicine/society, it's still uncomfortable. Having just submitted St Vincent's as my 1st hospital preference for next year, I wondered why on earth do I pay so much uni fees, choose a further hospital and travel to the city for such treatment! (I don't know if I will get my 1st preference though..given the limited places)

But this is the reality of medicine; more so as a Christian. He endured far worst and yet loved, with no strings attached. Exchanged His life to give us grace.


Other "depressing" things occurred this week, but that's enough for this blog.
Keep me in prayers! :)

The best of Sydney

I remember visiting Sydney exactly 2 years ago...it was spring too. And wow it was so pretty and I thought to myself, yea I could live here.

Yet in many ways, it's been a struggle in Sydney. Of which a huge chunk has nothing to do with the place but rather circumstances happening elsewhere.

Anyway, the point is, for some of the bleh I have with Sydney..haha, it is actually a nice place after all. :)
And yea I must humbly learn to count my blessings!
Last Saturday was good.

Brunch with girls from church!

Going to the Paddington Markets together. The one last week was the Rocks.
There's another one near my house which is not so funky but totally cheap!
Sigh, I have a craft market obsession


And watching Puccini's opera live in Sydney Opera House!


This is not the same clip..the one I watched was in full medieval dress costume. But I love this song! Thank God for subtitles during the opera otherwise I would have been lost in Italian!

Better, best

"The good can be the enemy of the best"
George Verwer

For fun

Picked up a packet of smoked salmon on 70% off!





-which is great to eat...but which means I'm not studying as I should during my holidays.

A day out

Wandering in craft markets on weekends....wonderful!

I never knew this!

As some of you might know, I am still neither here nor there with church.
Not because my church is bad; in fact I've been blessed by the strong and solid biblical teaching!
And doesn't mean I'm not going to church either; have been going for bible study and services. I hope it's not because I'm not willing to adjust/adapt.

But I guess the crux of the matter is theology & church beliefs.

As noted, I do admit I'm quite lazy and as long as things are fine, I prefer to leave it as that. I sometimes dislike my own mind as it drives me into ideas, social & political issues..all that keeps me deep in thought, exaggerates my seriousness when all I want to do is chill.

But I guess I just cannot avoid this whole church theology issue anymore.
I must say that on one hand, it is not really that important what theological beliefs one has because at the end of the day, repentance and obedience to Jesus is the most important thing.
Yet it is also important to know why we believe in the things we believe or choose go to a certain church and not the other. (esp in my confused case!)

In Malaysia, the situation is slightly different..perhaps our theological practices overlap more, which is why I've never really struggled with this and probably why although eg:Cindy went to a Baptist church while I went to a charismatic methodist church, everything we believed about the bible were similar
In Malaysia, a Charismatic church is part of the NECF (National Evangelical Christian Fellowship). Our CF never really had problems with inter-denominations. A Lutheran pastor could come and speak while we sang Hillsong songs..and it would be okay!

The situation here is slightly different.
And it's hard to put into words; but in a nutshell...each denomination is different. (duh, haha)

At first I thought, hey yea while my church is not "charismatic" but it's okay. I don't think that the display of the gifts of the holy spirit should be a major criteria in choosing churches anyway. It's fine if people do speak in tongues and if people don't. It's fine if no one lifts up their hands. I can adapt to a different worship culture; even if they don't sing the songs I sing at home.
But I guess beyond the external differences, there's is a different emphasis in spiritual interpretation that filters all the way down to the way bible study is conducted, the way prayer is practiced, issues of faith, if you believe in fasting or not and so on (yea, I can't believe it... I've never questioned if fasting should be practiced or not till recently!)

This is not a fun struggle. I dislike being unsure about church. I want to settle. The only upside to this is that I''m learning lots of new things that I never knew before!
Did you know Pentecostals believe that baptism of Holy Spirit must be accompanied by speaking of tongues?
And that in the Charismatic movement, the baptism of the Holy Spirit is separate from receiving the Holy Spirit during salvation conversion? I always thought so too ..but according to the book "I believe in the Holy Spirit" it is not...emm..

So yea, this is just the tip of the iceberg about the questions and uncertainties that are running through my head. It's confusing!
And I don't want to be biased towards what I've been brought up in so I'm reading two opposite books, "The Charismatic Chaos" and "I believe in the Holy Spirit"

One helpful thing I've read was a commentary that in Revelation, there were 7 different churches each with their own weaknesses and strengths. Probably just like in the churches today; where certain churches are strong in numbers, others are strong in sermons, another strong in missions....there is no perfect church after all.

I guess I've managed to bore you if you are reading all the way till now...
I am quite frustrated over this; do pray for me that I'd be able to discern if God wants me to stay put at my church or otherwise. :)

Wow

So I went to my favourite place again yesterday. The waves were wonderful and I can't get enough of the beach.

Anyway, the thing is that when I feel frustrated/stressed I run lots without feeling tired. I can't believe I jogged to Coogee and back! Out of curiosity, I did a little search and found out that it is 3.13 km one way! I can't believe an unfit person like me can actually do it.

I just hope I will be able to do it on a normal day minus the frustrated feelings.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

on the sideline, was looking through some blogs of cf juniors I don't even know and found this..

because I am bored,

because I have nothing to write,

my friend asked me to write some random statement...

he suggested this...

.

"chris is very leng chai"

.

hahahaha

...

.

*dedicated to chris poi*

Crz u are popular! ;)

Fitting in?

"Where do I belong now, I wondered. Long ago I rejected the cultish spirit of the church I had just helped bury. Yet neither could I share the materialistic skepticism of the scientists on the panel....
Theologically, I probably fit most comfortably with the evangelical Bible college, for we have in common a thirst for God, a reverence for the Bible and a love for Jesus. Nonetheless I had not found there much balance or health. Sometimes I feel like the most liberal person among conservatives, and sometimes like the most conservative among liberals. How can I fit together my religious past with my spiritual present?" Philip Yancey from Soul Survivor

"Sometimes I accept Jesus' audacious claim without question. Sometimes I confess I wonder what difference it should make to my life that a man lived two thousand years ago in a place called Galilee. Can I resolve this inner tension between doubter and lover?" Philip Yancey from The Jesus I Never Knew.

I think it's interesting to note that the author of the most controversial subjects (or certainly the most skeptical titles) in Christianity is also one of the most widely read.
For one, I am thankful that he dares to write such books so I don't feel like the only silly faithless person.

I guess I'm still unsure about church (yea kill me because it's been 9 months!)
and in the wake of so much going on, who is God really? Is He really out to get me and if He's not why does it feel so? What is He up to?

inner tension between doubter and lover

is not questioning faith or folly?

edit: This just happen to come up as well..worth a read

Hazardous

Am hooked on the library borrowed West Wing Dvd now!

Of course, Hollywood portrayed politics should be watched with a pinch of salt esp as they serve to propagate some of their agendas; but some dramatic lines and certain scenes are super cool. Also enjoyed the Commander in Chief series last year.



This clip is thought provoking. As a Christian I do take the stand against, but I realize I do need to also know the bible better, the context and the application instead of merely sprouting lines. Just because I'm a Christian doesn't mean I don't think objectively; plus Jesus passes the test under the microscope.

But I guess I do feel my inclinations towards politics is kind of useless & a time waster.
So what if I know what's going on; doesn't improve my studies at all!
Doesn't improve my social life; it's a dry topic.
Plus more importantly, I don't desire to run for office anyway; doesn't suite my personality, I lack charisma and there's other things I'd rather serve in.

I remember being 13 or so, reading Time and deciding I wanted to go to uni, study political science and be a writer. Debating in musty lecture halls. Haha!
I grew up and now appreciate being in medicine, because politics can be depressing & where black and white often muddle into grey.

I do believe interests are God's gifts, but this does feel like a waste of time sometimes.

The trysting place

"Over the years I have developed a habit of visiting what I call my Trysting Places, special rendezvous points where in the past I have met the Lord and where I return in time of need, confident that I will find Him there again. There is a strange power in place. This must be one of the main reasons the Bible gives such an important role to alters and sanctuaries and special mountains. For by instinct we are drawn back to the place where we once met God, trusting that there again we can keep our tryst" David Wilkerson from Beyond the Cross and the Switchblade.


In IMU, one of my favorite places was the hilltop of Commenwealth Park. Partially cuz while lots of IMU students jog, they prefer to do rounds of the lake, thus no one would see me puffing and wheezing while running up. (I have poor stamina!) But more so because it overlooked IMU and KL. Kind of perfect to pray, although most times I get lost in my own thoughts rather than God's.

Have been going down to Coogee beach weekly although again my poor stamina betrays me again and I walk most of the 25-30 min down. I guess physiologically as humans we are made to roam and walking does crystallizes God more, at least for me.

Especially for an introvert like me, it helps to walk & pray to God because you won't feel as if you're spacing out when in certain parts of the conversation you keep silent. Just like when you walk with a friend, it's less awkward to have pockets of silence then if you are sitting down over coffee face to face.
I won't go as far as David Wilkerson to call it my trysting place but rather an enjoyable break.

Stating the obvious

There is a greater risk of dying on the first day of life than on any other day (except the last). From Lecture Notes on Paediatrics Chapter 6, pg 54

It is indeed "enlightening"!

More med textbook fun..