Fitting in?

"Where do I belong now, I wondered. Long ago I rejected the cultish spirit of the church I had just helped bury. Yet neither could I share the materialistic skepticism of the scientists on the panel....
Theologically, I probably fit most comfortably with the evangelical Bible college, for we have in common a thirst for God, a reverence for the Bible and a love for Jesus. Nonetheless I had not found there much balance or health. Sometimes I feel like the most liberal person among conservatives, and sometimes like the most conservative among liberals. How can I fit together my religious past with my spiritual present?" Philip Yancey from Soul Survivor

"Sometimes I accept Jesus' audacious claim without question. Sometimes I confess I wonder what difference it should make to my life that a man lived two thousand years ago in a place called Galilee. Can I resolve this inner tension between doubter and lover?" Philip Yancey from The Jesus I Never Knew.

I think it's interesting to note that the author of the most controversial subjects (or certainly the most skeptical titles) in Christianity is also one of the most widely read.
For one, I am thankful that he dares to write such books so I don't feel like the only silly faithless person.

I guess I'm still unsure about church (yea kill me because it's been 9 months!)
and in the wake of so much going on, who is God really? Is He really out to get me and if He's not why does it feel so? What is He up to?

inner tension between doubter and lover

is not questioning faith or folly?

edit: This just happen to come up as well..worth a read