The grass always seem greener on the other side.
With all the PMS matching talk, all the numbers of PMS cost, compunded with relationship issues everywhere, everyone around me (at least in Sem5 IMU) are getting agitated. Yours truly included.
Some want to go for a particular university because of cost, some because of the significant other, some to fulfill their dreams. Everyone is uncertain about their future, everyone has something they want. No doubt, competition and envy are creeping into friendships.
And it doesn't spare anyone. Each thinks another has a better route, an easier time.
Painfully, I must admit I too have been sucked into the whirlpool of unhappiness and discontentment. Do I trust God? Do I really trust God in all these? I feel that I have been swinging from complete peace to dark frustrating thoughts. And I must say, truthfully, I haven't been as joyful and as peaceful as I would like to be.
Compounded with lectures that end at 6.30 to nearly 7, coupled with early classes that start at 8.30 in the morning...and a ton of lecture notes to go through, plus ball "issue" that I'm not too happy about (no it's not about my dress! Haha..Not that vain le :)) along with the busy pace of CF/CG and trying to be inspiring.
Tying to be a good daugther, a supportive sister, a patient friend, a "inspiring" ahem leader, a good student, a good this, a good that....
I've reached my tipping point.
I just couldn't pretend in front of him anymore on friday. For the first time in IMU history I lost it. In CG some more (not u guys la, not my night cg..hehe)...gasp...(you call urself a christian?)
But no excuses!
I am humbled that I cannot be all I want to be.
I need to rest my eyes.
So it goes back to the question...the almighty question that always lurk behind our minds when the going get though..
Are Christians really happier than non-Christians?
I would say no.
but Christians who surrender and hope in Jesus despite circumstances more happy than non-Christians?
Yes!
I am challenged that the true meaning of being a Christian would be to die to self.
And when I feel off, I must seriously check the state of my diseased heart..
Most of the time, it's not because God is not good or available. More often than not, the question would be, am I tapping into Him? Relying on Him?
*sigh* It's hard to "die" to self...
But if any of you catch me whinning...jolt me up! :)
Faith is being sure of what is hoped for, and certain of things we do not see.
God has a great plan for YOU and for me m1/04s!
3 comments:
I do think it's good to wonder why really are we not happier than non-Christians? Christians have got THE BEST gift in the world, and yet we live like there's no end to our miseries. So what exactly are we missing here? I'm wondering too you know? Isn't Jesus more than enough? Or is it more than that?
I think it's because we got the BEST gift in the world but don't know how to use it.
Like having a super powerful computer but don't know how to operate it...
Jesus IS more than enough..
But am I putting myself before Jesus? Because He can't fill me if I fill myself with myself..
HAHA :)
take care gracey
Wah, philosophy ni..But I also think maybe, just maybe we're "trying" too hard. Still having the mentality that we need to earn points to get God's attention.
Post a Comment