Love the irony

Do you get it? Look carefully

Love the irony but definitely won't want this as my wedding cake

The "not in" thing..

In my blessed and comfortable Christian life, there are not many persecutions or issues regarding why I believe what I believe. But increasingly as I age (getting old) is the tension of bgr.

This often happens when people suggest other people or when other things come up. Often I cop out and just keep quiet because I don't want to break the camaraderie by saying "I will not date a person who is not a Christian." Or just avoid the awkwardness of saying that by playing safe and doge invitations etc. And the list then goes on to why Christians don't move in together and have the big 3 letter word starting with S before marraige or that dating is courtship and so forth.

It is an issue many people find hard to phantom in this age of free belief and choices. From my own experiences, most people are stunned and even feel "discriminated" against. One friend said that all beliefs are the same and cannot not understand the different value systems Christians have. (It could be in part of my own failure to live like Christ and show the difference He has made in my life).

And the seriousness that we take dating....people often go "but how would you know you want to marry this person unless you've gone out with him/her etc etc etc." Of course we do not always know and yes, sometimes not all Christian relationships end up in marraige but the intention is to avoid the "try before you buy" mindset and honor the other person.

Complicating things futher, other Christians date non Christians and makes all the explaining even more difficult.

Maybe this is one of the prices to pay in following Christ in the context of this generation.
I just hope to do it better rather than dodge under the blanket of silence.

If only...

Those who have been on call know how much we long for the clock to point to 7 am after a long 12 hour night shift. The anticipation of a shower, meal and bed. Sometimes even feeling smug that I'm done for the day even as the rest of the world wakes up..(haha)

Which is why the verse in Psalm 130 stands out;
My soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.

Interesting how the phrase the watchmen is repeated twice, as an added emphasis. Can just imagine the anticipation of the watchmen in changing guard plus the relief that the night has passed without any attacks etc.

I know I don't wait with such an anticipation. I hope to have such a hunger; not merely out of need when problems arise but to learn to delight in the Lord.

Vanity!

I am always humbled down when I myself get a cosmetic crisis. As medical practitioners it's so easy to dismiss patients' concerns about the cosmetic effects in the view of more life threatening issues BUT indeed appearances do matter!

A month plus ago I developed a keloid at the back of my ear lobe and freaked out after goggling the pictures online! Although it was not life threatening, in the literature it is not very curable and has a high relapse rate after any modality of treatment. It did cause some anxious moments and yes, it is still there at the moment, but I am thankful to God that it hasn't grown.

I am just so weary that another keloid will develop; this time on the face! I need to see my GP tomorrow! Indeed it is so humbling and makes me repent for judging people when they have body issues or cosmetic surgery etc etc. The holier than thou attitude about others until I myself am plagued with something that keeps me looking at the mirror whenever I get the chance and fretting if it's grown in size....it really keeps things in perspective that I am oh so human as well.

Do pray that no more keloids come up! :(

Can't help it

One of the biggest reasons I don't want to return to Malaysia for internship is my sheer lack of knowledge; especially in terms of practical skills. And O&G in particular requires experience, experience, experience

Over here, my scheduled clinics keep getting canceled because there are too many students both medical and allied health jostling for places-so bad that I can count the number of times I have palpated the abdomens. Turning up for things only to be turned away. I was at delivery suite today waiting but was told to go back home.

It is not such a big deal if I am going to work in Australia because O&G is an optional rotation. But I just do not want to be in the situation as an intern in Malaysia (since it is a compulsory rotation for year 1) at a district hospital getting complicated cases the midwives cannot handle and not knowing what to do. Plus the fact that we don't get taught to do anything at all here, not the suturing, nor the checking of dilatation and are lucky if we get to hold the baby.

I just hope I will be a safe doctor when I graduate at the rate I am going/learning now...