Malaysia my home

My church in Malaysia started it's 22 day prayer and fasting recently. People would come to church at 530 in the morning to pray and seek God. My church is not perfect; meetings with friends and fellow christians do reveal the ups and downs of being in a big church. I must confess that I too was a little jaded and cautious with church in Malaysia after hearing some stories. But that very weekend, the senior pastor who always stands by the door to greet members called me by name and said "welcome back." It was surprising because this is in a church of 2000+ plus that I have not been back for a year nor am close to him. I was humbled by my own judgement and began to catch the heartbeat of the church again. True, my church and its leaders are not perfect but no one is, especially me. What truly counts is the heart for God and for people.

It just seems so timely that when our church is having this fast that events around Malaysia are happening. We prayed at the end of 2009 for the court rulling over this issue. I am sure the church is praying again as new challenges arise. Even in the few weeks that I was back, the sermons revolved around changing our nation through our love, prayer and our lives. Our pastor even spoke strongly against migrating; that we are made Malaysian for a purpose and destiny. That if we do not believe in our country nor stand in the gap, who will?

I do love my country but I don't know how will God direct me. I signed a 2 year contract here and bought a car. I don't mind working for a lower pay back home but I am afraid that my spiritual life will die under 36 hour calls. Yet I realize that I still haven't captured the heart of God for Sydney. Sydney is comfortable and nice, but my spiritual life was pretty stagnant here. (it's not the fault of the place but rather my laziness and lack of accountability or vision?). Does it mean that I will only date a Malaysian with the view to go back? (Because I know haha, no non Malaysian would want to stay in Malaysia).

I don't have any answers. I dare not make empty promises or utter broken vows.

But for now, I know, even though I am not there in Malaysia, at church at 530, I will be here in Sydney, praying. Praying for my birthplace. Praying that the fire and the closeness to God that I rekindled in Malaysia will not die in the comforts and hustle and bustle of Sydney. And praying too that I will be his instrument in Sydney; to live in the present and grow in God here.