So far

...working life is not too bad.
Although I still am bad bad bad at cannulas etc, I survived 2 weeks already. And I survived a public holiday 15 hour shift and a Friday overtime.
It's all credit to God though; providing an awesome hospital accomodation that is even better than my own apartment. Otherwise the 1 hour drive to Campbelltown each way for a 7 am start would have killed me. And I am starting to love my car. Even though it's just a 5 minute drive from the hospital to home everyday, that 5 minutes in the car helps for me to depersonalize from work.

Another overtime on Monday and another 15 hour on Sunday.
I still hate cannulas because being the only one on the surgical wards means there will be at least 8-10 of them to do, but, God willing, it will be alright.

From a draw!

I've never been "lucky" in raffles, draws etc etc.
But today I won a book from a medical insurance draw!


Apparently it's a good book, but the thought of being on call next Friday doesn't appeal to me. But as I said, we international students nearly did not get a job this year. And Bankstown/Campbelltown is reputed to be a great network with supportive senior staff. So although it's daunting, I thank God that He is with me. And I truly pray that I will not complain so much about my job but learn to enjoy it! I really hope to develop great friendships as well with my collegues and be authentic in my life this year.

Malaysia my home

My church in Malaysia started it's 22 day prayer and fasting recently. People would come to church at 530 in the morning to pray and seek God. My church is not perfect; meetings with friends and fellow christians do reveal the ups and downs of being in a big church. I must confess that I too was a little jaded and cautious with church in Malaysia after hearing some stories. But that very weekend, the senior pastor who always stands by the door to greet members called me by name and said "welcome back." It was surprising because this is in a church of 2000+ plus that I have not been back for a year nor am close to him. I was humbled by my own judgement and began to catch the heartbeat of the church again. True, my church and its leaders are not perfect but no one is, especially me. What truly counts is the heart for God and for people.

It just seems so timely that when our church is having this fast that events around Malaysia are happening. We prayed at the end of 2009 for the court rulling over this issue. I am sure the church is praying again as new challenges arise. Even in the few weeks that I was back, the sermons revolved around changing our nation through our love, prayer and our lives. Our pastor even spoke strongly against migrating; that we are made Malaysian for a purpose and destiny. That if we do not believe in our country nor stand in the gap, who will?

I do love my country but I don't know how will God direct me. I signed a 2 year contract here and bought a car. I don't mind working for a lower pay back home but I am afraid that my spiritual life will die under 36 hour calls. Yet I realize that I still haven't captured the heart of God for Sydney. Sydney is comfortable and nice, but my spiritual life was pretty stagnant here. (it's not the fault of the place but rather my laziness and lack of accountability or vision?). Does it mean that I will only date a Malaysian with the view to go back? (Because I know haha, no non Malaysian would want to stay in Malaysia).

I don't have any answers. I dare not make empty promises or utter broken vows.

But for now, I know, even though I am not there in Malaysia, at church at 530, I will be here in Sydney, praying. Praying for my birthplace. Praying that the fire and the closeness to God that I rekindled in Malaysia will not die in the comforts and hustle and bustle of Sydney. And praying too that I will be his instrument in Sydney; to live in the present and grow in God here.

Contentment

It's been a long time since I've felt contented and rested. I would not even mind if time would just stand still.

But it's back to reality and to Sydney!
I really hope that this year will be different; that my walk with God no longer needs to rest on the past experiences in Malaysia but indeed be built on the present.

A trip up north

It was an impulsive trip, borne out of the realization that I will not get the chance to travel much next year and closed doors elsewhere. I must confess I did not pray much but just wrote to the missionary family I knew from DUMC.
One month later I was in Chiang Mai; not knowing what to expect without any agendas in mind.

The day market

The Living Waters Center that provides accommodation for cancer patients seeking treatment from rural Thailand in Chiang Mai. The center also has a T shirt painting scheme for young girls with the intention of training them up to be self supporting.

It's really a privilege to stay with locals there because they know where to eat and shop. Pictured is fried morning glory flowers with thai sauce.

The night gardens. It was winter in Chiang Mai when I went.

The day market and the food.

All in all the food was good, the shopping was alright but what I treasured the most was the opportunity to hear and share with them. It's been a long time since anyone has dared to speak truth into my life; confronting and challenging me in a godly way. It was also eye opening; both scary and encouraging to hear about real mission life with its' ups and downs.

I dare say that this holiday though only a few days long is a turning point for me. Although yes I still don't know how life will turn out (but who does) I am not worried. Indeed, I love this verse from Proverbs 31...

²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.

Looking forward to 2010!