As I was reading

....something today, questions about faith, life and God struck me

While I don't hope for everyone to have cancer and do rejoice in good news, does it mean that my own prayers were crap? I remember praying after the biopsy that the result would just be a momentary scare, that I would resume my job at IMU and our family would be normal again. So did I have not enough faith then?

More importantly, do I not have enough faith that the cancer is gone? Will the cancer come back just because I don't have enough faith or fail to pray enough? What's enough and what's not?

This too might reek of jealousy and self righteousness but here goes.
When my good friend and I started to pray together, we in similar situations; holding each other accountable and sharing our lives. Yet 3 years down the track she has entered a new season while I'm kind of lost. And despite my efforts in "guarding" myself, it still stung and happened the worst possible moments. Twice.

Of course, objectively I also don't deserve some of the blessings lavished on me.
My salvation, my close knitted family, the opportunity to be educated. I could have been born in squalor, abused and enslaved. I did survive a 360 deg car crash unharmed. And yes although cancer is bad, I do acknowledge as well that we are still blessed as we can afford to pay for treatment. Plus I am sitting here typing this with high speed broadband and running electricity which puts me in the top 10% of people in the world*, so I don't really have a case to argue! :)

No wonder there is such a warning against the "prosperity gospel" because it surely does make light of the countless other Christians who suffer in other parts of the world. It is still something I'm working on to balance the Charismatic faith-claiming along with the reality of the cross.

*estimated figure only with no sources to back me up..but u get my point! haha