When I went to Cambodia with DUMC in 2006, it was and still is one of the most exciting times in my life.
Totally pumped in God,eager and young, looking into ?long term missions. And when they had medical clinics, I couldn't wait to be a real doctor and see patients! treat them, heal them...
A few life changing events happened after that. A different season with God; where lessons were learnt in whispers rather than triumphant exclamation. A new perspective on suffering, a little more insight into understandinging pain.Lost my adoration for medicine as well (along with my snobbishness..which is kind of a good thing).
I realized how naive I was in 2006 when I shared about God's love, never having tasted much pain sharing to those who have suffered so much. I've always hoped to go back, to say the same words, but this time having a little glimpse of understanding about brokenness.
I am going in 2 weeks time and I am totally unprepared.
I realize how foolish I was as a med student-that being a doctor could heal patients. true, we might be able to diagnose some cases, maybe treat a few infections but then what? Our final success rate as doctors is always going to be 100% mortality for each and every patient we treat because no doctor can stop death. We can postpone it, make it more comfortable but ultimately we are not God. (although we are often deluded that we are)
So ya, even though this is a full on medical mission trip-I am going to do kids work too because I really feel it's such a privllage to tell children about God who cares...and am more excited about that than the medical side of things!
God has also humbled me prior to this Cambodia journey. While it may sound so noble and "christian" to go to Cambodia, I must confess-a lot of the motivation to go ties down more to "finding myself" ,"wanting to feel more alive","filling up my time purposefully as a mid twenties girl", "wanting to experience God more"..........in other words "me, me, me"
Not in itself wrong but limiting God to my little corner of expectations.
I realize it should be the other way around-"here I am, God...how do I fit in Your purpose". "what do You have to teach me", and even "how do You want to surprise me" :) He is an exciting, good God after all..haha..
Do pray for us as a team, that yea...ultimately we are going to share God. But ya, having said that, to believe that God can also use medicine and His power to heal physically.
Am looking forward to seeing if my other team members will eat spider with me (tastes like soft shell crab-but warning, do not try the beetles-bad smell!)
Pray for health, safe journey, protection of our families. Pray for the people that we will be meeting-for ultimately it is God who draws people to Him.
Most of all, pray that God's will be done above all.
:)
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