A dream

Then Joseph said to them, " Do not interpretations belong to God? Tell me your dreams."
Genesis 40:8b

Actually it's rather amazing that Joseph would want to have anything to do with dreams. The last time he did that, remember what happened? He told his brothers about his dreams and it was "Operation Pit City." He wound up in an Egyptian slave market. You'd think he would say, "Not me, man! I'm off of dreams forever." But not Joseph. He said "Oh really? A dream huh? Tell me about it." Charles R. Swindoll

Once bitten, twice shy?
I've seen and felt the pain of having dreams taken away; dreams where I felt was God pleasing.
But without vision, people perish.

I am daring to dream again; not that God will neccesarily grant me everything I dream about. But trusting him to be honest with what I truly desire. That He is big enough both in my joy and my disappointment.

Being a doctor...

...to me is wayyyyy overated.

1st year of med school: I want to make a difference in the world/discover the cure to cancer/win the Nobel Price for Medicine

3rd year of med school: I want to make a difference in patients' lives

5th year of med school: Med school is boring, can't wait to be a doctor

6th year of med school: I just want to pass medicine

Intern year: I just want to remember my patients' names and find their files (which always disappear when your boss arrives, making you an intern who cannot even do a basic thing like finding a chart)

Unanswered prayers?

To be honest, I do have sort of an achilles heel with God.
In my own grand plan and timeline I would be married now preferably to a Malaysian and striving to be a specialist, with the intention of returning home to Malaysia once I have achieved consultancy so that I can go back with my brood to serve.

But here I am, not sure about anything anymore!
And in a lot of ways I've grown quite numb towards God since living in Sydney.
No longer dreaming, no longer having a vision (and without vision people perish).

Yet this time when I am back with my family, I realize well, I think God has actually answered some of my prayers.
I remember a few years ago, when my father was going through his own dry season, I would purposely play a sermon CD in the car just so that he would listen because he wouldn't really pay attention in church. And my youngest sister and I would argue often.

But now, my father has changed so much! My family is so different.
I hope that my eyes will be open to see that my God is indeed big!

Living in the present

Coming back to Malaysia AND staying in Vista brings back many fond memories of IMU days. As I've repeated lots of times, IMU was where I truly grew spiritually. There are thoughts of returning to Malaysia but many factors play against it; namely the lack of clinical skills, the uncertainity of posting placements, the workload. Still something I am praying about.

Yet I am reminded that I had currents of discontentment when I was in IMU too.
And the view is always better through nostalgic rose tinted glasses.
My resolution is to be consistent with my spiritual walk with God which includes simple things like reading the bible daily and praying. To make full use of the free time for ministry, meeting up with girls, building deep friendships. Indeed I am blessed in Sydney with an okay work load. :) 7 days of nights is the reason I can come back to Malaysia because I get 7 days off after that!

Indeed I do want to live in the present, with the grace of God.

Below are random pictures including taking public transport in KL! Haha