We're alike after all

While I've finished my posting at k1ngs cross, there's things to learn from it even now.

Many of the homeless are homeless to a certain extend by choice.
Some choices are based on their psychological addiction but many are made out of habit and instant gratification.

This is glaringly obvious in Australia where there's a strong welfare system; most are entitled to around Aud800-1000 per month from the government and yet are still homeless. Most choose to spend their welfare money on drugs, tobacco, alcohol. The youths choose to be on the streets than to be in hostels. Many refuse to go on methadone because they fear they'd be addicted to it and dislike coming to the clinic everyday to be dosed, but fail to recognize the irony that they are on a 500 a day heroin habit and have to shoot up 3-4 times a day.

It boils back to human choices, our human nature to do things our own way.
And no matter how good the social system is or which country you are in, look close enough and you'd find the same pattern.

In KL, one old man I knew was homeless because he ran away from his old folks home. He just couldn't stand the routine and wanted the freedom to do whatever he liked even though it was far more dangerous and dirty to live in bus stations in Klang and Pudu.

Of course it's so easy to look at them and be bewildered on their seemingly dumb choices.
Just like when we read about the Israelites and wonder why would they worship a man made calf having seen God part the sea into two.

Yet I've becoming more aware that I am just the same like the homeless or the Israelites.
I'd rather rest my trust in a piece of paper, people, events, a specialist training spot or all other illusions of security than the God who's unchanging.

And just like the homeless who rather suffer the bitting cold for a shot of H, I too rather meander around, doubt than to rest in God's arms for His best. Because deep down, God's way does at times seem too hard and agonizingly frustrating. We'd (or I at least, haha) rather have things our way, in our time, in our control.

We are all addicts, merely that some addictions are easier to hide than others.