started with 6-7 emails at 6am on Monday morning from my supervisor, all urgently needed to be answered as she was giving a talk at lunch time, followed by midwives clinic and a rush to get from clinic-bus-St Vincent's for the talk. The talk was followed by more work as there was still so much more refining to be done.
it progressed with 730 ward rounds and a non threatening but potentially disfiguring health problem that kept me awake, sad and anxious.
in a state of paranoia, another health issue cropped out. While more work needed to be done on top of normal med school stuff. Added to the mix was the potential "no jobs for international students" mantra during information night, along with the possibility that I might leave people I care about behind and the cuddly world of comfortable internship.
I was pretty emotional, tired and strung.
Yet, at the same time some things cleared up like the health issues.
And while it took me awhile to gain back my senses, I am amazed by the reminder that God is faithful in all seasons. That what is impossible with men is possible with God. That God sent me to UNSW in weird circumstances. That he provided a part time job that pays well, is great in the academic sense and a good supervisor. That He spared my life when I was in a terrible accident in KKB a few years ago when the car overturned. That He provided and continues to provide for my family. And many more.
Indeed.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
So..
We might not get a job in the end? Because of new policies again?
Oh well, too much drama for this week.
In the end, I do hope to live what I try to profess, that God is in control and He is trustworthy.
So ya..
Oh well, too much drama for this week.
In the end, I do hope to live what I try to profess, that God is in control and He is trustworthy.
So ya..
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Long distance relationships...
The funny thing about IMU is that most if not all of us previously from IMU who twinned to partner medical schools all look back and think that those 2.5 years were the one of best years in our lives. It is not the teaching nor the converted shopping mall that we look back fondly upon but the people. The seniors, the juniors and the batchmates-KKB trips, CF and the like.
But of course, it is also a reality that many relationships are tested by the distance.
Different time zones, countries. Differing workloads from super busy at Seremban/US to the super slack UK/Aus.
Over time, the promises to visit another country to meet up with friends fade away due to expensive air fares and minimal holiday times. Emails get shorter until they don't get sent, random bits of information are picked up from facebook home page (at least for me..haha, guilty as charged).
Yet, it is such a treasure when old friendships last the distance and yes, while the levels of contact may change inevitably due to circumstances, I am thankful that my friend and I can still talk at the same level of comfort as before. And to have a special guest from the US! :)
Thank God for friends, friends who last the distance and changes. And for the continuity of friendship that allow us to know where each started of and remind each other the ways God has remained faithful.
But of course, it is also a reality that many relationships are tested by the distance.
Different time zones, countries. Differing workloads from super busy at Seremban/US to the super slack UK/Aus.
Over time, the promises to visit another country to meet up with friends fade away due to expensive air fares and minimal holiday times. Emails get shorter until they don't get sent, random bits of information are picked up from facebook home page (at least for me..haha, guilty as charged).
Yet, it is such a treasure when old friendships last the distance and yes, while the levels of contact may change inevitably due to circumstances, I am thankful that my friend and I can still talk at the same level of comfort as before. And to have a special guest from the US! :)
Thank God for friends, friends who last the distance and changes. And for the continuity of friendship that allow us to know where each started of and remind each other the ways God has remained faithful.
Saturday, March 07, 2009
Maybe this is familiar...
"But I am not alone in this. Most of you will by this time have lost a parent, a spouse, even a child. Your hopes for your career have not panned out. Your health has given way. Relationships have turned sour. We all know the dilemma of desire, how awful it feels to open out hearts to joy, only to have grief come in. They go together. We know that. What we don't know is what to do with it, how to live in this world with desire so deep in us and disappointment lurking in every corner. After we've taken a few arrows, dare we even desire?" John Eldredge.
And so 6th year will start soon.
It's not that I am not thankful to be so far along, where each exam has been God's grace in allowing me to pass through. Or that I have paid work with a great supervisor and a free abstract. And thankful for friends and family and people. Okay life with health and food and a place to stay.
It's just maybe, I am too cautious to dream, to wary to be passionate.
Once bitten, twice shy.
I just need to know (not an intellectual know but a heart's knowing) why I am doing this again.
And so 6th year will start soon.
It's not that I am not thankful to be so far along, where each exam has been God's grace in allowing me to pass through. Or that I have paid work with a great supervisor and a free abstract. And thankful for friends and family and people. Okay life with health and food and a place to stay.
It's just maybe, I am too cautious to dream, to wary to be passionate.
Once bitten, twice shy.
I just need to know (not an intellectual know but a heart's knowing) why I am doing this again.
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