Port call

I remember as a child growing up in the island with no McDonalds, when Doulos paid a visit. It was so exciting to meet the people on Doulos, visit their bunks and join them for a meal onboard.

The next time Doulos came to Malaysia, I just finished SAM, waiting to go to IMU.
The ship did not seem as big than when I was a child.

And now, five years later (it's almost shocking to think that it's been so long since I've left school and how OLD I am now..) it's here in Sydney. Time flies....or mayb I am just OLD.

Again...

I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.

You know.
Lord, let that be enough.

A close call

You just never appreciate the things in your life until it goes missing!
Just yesterday I nearly had a mini heart attack when I could not find my planner. It was 12 something at night and I was mentally going through all the problems I would face if it was gone forever. It had my work numbers, my contacts, most importantly 2 log books with hard to get consultant signatures (with marks for each signature) that stretch back from the beginning of this year! And of which I need to qualify to sit for my end of year exam and current exam!

I even resorted to calling the hospital at 1 am in the morning to speak to security just in case someone found it and brought it in. While it could have been misplaced anywhere from the bus to the street, I had a feeling it was possibly lying in ED where I had made phone calls for the registrar. Dramamama also gave good advice and so after prayer and by faith I went to sleep.

Woke up at the crack of dawn today to go to ED and thankfully, it was still there lying beside the telephone. While it was not life and death; it still reminds me that I can go to God even with little hysterical prayers.

On a lighter note

Check out no4!


And from our bank of questions and answers:

198. Imagine you have a narcissistic personality disorder. How would you live your life and relate to other people?

To think that anyone could imagine how a narcissitic person would live their life is ridiculous. I could come up with a million better exam questions than that! Now, personally, I am able to imagine this senario because I happen to have an extremely creative mind. The right side of my brain (that which is involved with creative processes, since you probably didn’t know) is probably more active than most people’s, that is, of course, not to say that my left-brain is inadequate by any means! I actually think I should be exempt from doing this ridiculous exam because I have contributed so much to psychiatry this term. I’m actually pretty bored with it now; I’ve learned everything I need to, and done everything I can. I’m sure I’ve already passed the term anyway, all my registrars have told me how proficient I am at doing a psychiatric interview. I’ll go and get them to tell me again after this though. There are a couple of people who seemed to be liked as well, like that girl Nikki, who climbs mountains while she studies medicine. I can’t stand that! She doesn’t really climb them, she just goes away to Nepal and studies for 5 weeks so she can take the attention away from the really naturally smart people like me. I was friends with her at the beginning of the year, but once I got her notes I didn’t really need to be anymore. I’m now working on Ingvild and Bec, I think they have pretty good notes as well. Now that I’ve wasted so much of my precious time on this question I’m going to be late for my client. You see, I’ve already started to recruit patients, seeing as I’m already so very capable at psychiatry.

---haha!

Because it's Olympics...

Was just reading something from Readers Digest:

During a race in the one man Fin Class sailing competition, Larry Lemieux of Canada was running in second place and was well on his way to a medal ceremony. Suddenly, the sailor spotted Joseph Chan of Singapore, who was competing in a different race, flailing in turbulent water well away from his capsized boat. Chan had been thrown from his small craft and was in danger of drowning in the rough seas.

Lemieux immediately veered off course, sacrificing his chance of winning a medal and ferried Chan back to his overturned boat. Chan and his team mate were then picked up by a rescue boat. Officially, Lemieux finished 11th place in the event but International Olympic Committee President Juan Antonio Samaranch later recognised his act by awarding him the Pierre de Coubertin medal for sportsmanship.

...........................................................................................................

At the most recent Winter Olympiad, Canadian Sarah Renner was leading her team in the gruelling cross country team sprint ski race when her left ski pole snapped. She pushed on, but it seemed hopeless. On an uphill slope, several skiers passed her.

Then something truly extraordinary happened. An unknown man stepped forward from the side of the course and handed Renner another ski pole. She immediately got back in the race and with a mighty effort, managed to make up some of the lost time. In the end, it was enough to capture the silver medal for Canada.

It was not until after the race that Renner learnt the identity of her benefactor. He turned out to be Bjoernar Haakensmoen, the coach of the Norwegian team who finished fourth. Haakensmoen immediately became a hero in Canada. One Montreal newspaper ran a one-word banner headline simply proclaiming, TAKK the Norwegian word for thank you.

Haakensmoen didn't understand all the attention. "The Olympic spirit is the way we try to follow. If you win but don't help somebody when you should have, what win is that?"

(Rd, Aug 2008)
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I guess these two stories have got me thinking of my own selfishness. All of us know that these people train very hard and a medal is a big thing. If I were in those situations what would I do? Even now, in the mundane hospital life I must admit, the "kiasu" spirit prevails where there is a slight tinge of jealousy if another student describes what they got to do or assist or when they saw an interesting patient you missed. Or when I am unwilling to give up some extra sleep or what not to avoid inconveniences. I guess it is sobering to realize, the reality of my selfishness and hopefully repent.

Identity

A few weeks ago, my aunt kindly brought me to watch a play. It was about the Battle of Gallipoli the first war that Australia had participated in as part of the Allied forces.

For starters, I never knew that ANZAC stood for Australian and New Zealand Army Corps. I stay near Anzac Parade, love the Anzac holiday day off and eat Anzac cookies yet didn't know the acronym. Haha.

Anyway, it was very much an Australian patriotic production showing the lives of the young Australians in the battle. I must confess to being a noob, I've sort of heard about the charge of the light calvary (the poem) and WW1 but not much beyond that. It is different to see things from an Australian perspective and for most in attendance like my cousin, they have grown up learning about this in history lessons. Where as I've been learning about Parameswara and the magical deer in the forest..haha.

The thick Australian spirit got me thinking however. If I were to actually stay on in this country, how much of it do I know? More so, how much of Australia do I love and would actually take ownership of especially in the context of a Christian.

How odd is it sometimes to be a 2nd generation Malaysian Chinese living/studying in Australia.
To the Chinese, I am not Chinese enough because I am quintessentially a "banana" yellow on the outside but white on the inside and can't read or write Chinese.
To the Western world, I am pretty Asian in my values, introvertness and even sense of humor.
In Malaysia, I am not Malay yet it is my birthplace and where I grew up. A place where we are not always wanted, sometimes 2nd class citizens but yet at the same time free enough to live in peace.
A person who looks Chinese but who speaks Bahasa Malaysia better than Chinese and thinks in English.

Don't know if you've noticed but we Malaysian Chinese always state our race and nationality as separate, so unlike the Indonesians and Fillipino Chinese who often just state their nationality.

Amy Tan writes about being a 1st generation American Chinese.
Someone should write something about being a double immigrant; a Malaysian Chinese migrating to the western world.

In recent weeks..

...Christmas in July with family in the Blue Mountains.
The chair is classic..and I love creative shops!

Closing night of Hillsong conference
...size vs depth? suited for the masses or alienate but the theological? save "many" or stick to the pure "few"? head knowledge that is not applied? or emotions that are unchecked?
...but for what it's worth, at least some are living what they sing.

...coffee festival


... a road trip with a few friends


On another note, I've not been able to express in words what I am "feeling"
Disillusioned seems to strong a word, "sien" is too flat an expression.

But this hits it right on...

"Within the kaledioscope of my distorted childhood memories is the image of a dusty, deserted road in rural Canada. As I recall it, there were no signs indicating direction or distance to go....
The hour was late and my family and I had been travelling that road for an entire day. We were lost, tired and not a little irritable with one another...

Why not turn back? We had simply traveled too far to do so. Besides, the road had to go somewhere. But where?

The trip had begun with such excitement, an adventuresome spirit about going new places. But now all the zeal had dissipated. I guess we began to wonder why we'd ever left home.

I have often recalled the feelings and frustration of that late-night, dark-road experience whenever my life seemed to be momentarily turn into a mindless or spiritless journey crammed with events (not experiences) and contacts (not relationships)."

Gordon MacDonald, Renewing Your Spiritual Passion.

A day at a time

...."and we will cross that bridge when we get to it," as my consultant psychiatrist always says to his patients.


Indeed.
I cannot look beyond today.